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Real love...what does it look like?

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and most people celebrate it by buying their significant other candy, cards, expensive dinners, I even seen some pictures of new cars on Facebook or whatever tangible gift that can be used to display the love that they feel towards their loved one. All of this is great and I applaud those who do take the time to honor the special person in their life whether it’s on Valentine’s Day or any of the other 364 days of the year. But love is action…I have been in enough bad “love” relationships where gifts have lost their value to me. I’m like Cuba Gooding’s character in Jerry Maguire, “SHOW ME THE MONEY”…oops I mean love. But all jokes aside, love is not about the things, love is about the action. Love should be felt and known by your actions not just your gifts.
Trust, I’m not bah humbug about Valentine’s Day…I love love always have. I always wanted to be in a relationship where it’s me and my man against the world. I wanted the relationship that rivaled Bonnie and Clyde (of course without the illegal stuff they did). For the longest, I allowed my words and thoughts to cancel each other out. I wanted Bonnie and Clyde while saying, “No one will love me the way I love them”.  I have stopped saying that altogether now that I understand how our words attract the foolishness we speak. My words are COMPLETELY different, I choose them wisely, so I am careful not to attract what I don’t want or need in my life. You too should watch your words because life and death surely reside in what we say.
When I look for what love means and what real love is I turn to the bible and I weigh people against that definition. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 states, “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” I have conversations with young women all the time and when they are talking about their boyfriend they start the sentence with, “He’s a great guy but…..”. Then they go into a speech about what he is not…so I ask them is that love? I ask them is he not patient and kind, Is he envious, arrogant, boastful or rude, must he have his way…if those things are present then I’m sorry sweetie you must reevaluate your definition of love and possibly run from this relationship.
Mind you I said relationship and not marriage. I believe there are some differences that come to play when you are talking about a marriage. BUT if you make great observations (and properly evaluate them) BEFORE marriage, while in the relationship phase, you can avoid a lot of headache in marriage. Marriage is not when you look at what is stated in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and evaluate your spouse…it’s too late then.
Real love does exist…I see glimpses of it daily. I see those who set out to help others unselfishly. I see people being patient and kind when others are being rude and arrogant towards them. I see couples getting back into the fight after giving up. I just wish that everyone will get to experience love as it is intended and not what it is made to look like by Hollywood or the crazy couple down your street. But real love the kind that makes you strive to be better, do better, live better and set higher standards of greatness! Be blessed…

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