Rewind…January 23, 2012
Last year on this very day, I posted a comment on Facebook stating that I had held a funeral on my behalf. Of course I was not burying myself alive but I was burying those things that kept me acting and functioning as the “living dead”. I was walking around tied to so much baggage that I was useless and not to mention stressed out. I had reached my capacity of all that I could carry and I needed to cleanse, purge, and/or get rid of all those things that were killing me by the minute…and that meant people too. I noticed that I had, in an odd way, gotten comfortable with the messy parts of my life. I stopped looking at what I should have paid attention to and instead of trying to fix it; I turned a blind eye and played ignorant to the things going on around me. If whatever my issue was didn’t tap me on the shoulder I lived with it! I had become reactive instead of my normal proactive mindset.
Reflect...January 23, 2013
What a terrible and miserable place to be in…one where you recognize the need for change but instead choose to do nothing about it. I can see now how paralyzed I was by my fears, people and their thoughts, my friends, and even my parents. I had somehow picked up the “people pleasing” syndrome. I wanted everyone to think I was ok with everything and I just suffered in silence. I realize that there is violence in our silence! Our silence can kill us. By keeping all of this bottled up on the inside, I was on my way to popping! Thank God for the wake-up call to change.
Move forward…and keep moving
The “funeral” I performed helped me a lot. I was able to handle the issues that I had let slide. I was able to put my mind in a much better place. I started back living! I made goals, long- and short-range ones, that allowed me to see my growth and gave me just enough of a sense of accomplishment that I could keep moving forward. Some things happened in leaps and bounds, while others took time. I couldn’t microwave everything and call it complete. I had to go through the process. But on the other side of it, a year later, and I am thankful for those moments that brought me to this place of clarity and peace. I can appreciate the storms that I endured because I came out stronger. I am now strong enough to reach back and pull someone else along. None of it was easy and I wanted to give up, tried to give up but I had to keep pressing forward. I had to get to today so I can tell you who are reading this that YOU CAN TOO!!!
So I ask you all…what are you using to hold you back from your place of destiny and purpose. Is it people, old habits, thoughts, events, lack of whatever or YOU? Take the time to hold a memorial service for those things in your life that you need to bury and move on from. If you need to be creative and perform an actual service, write down what’s holding you back, put it in a box and bury it. Then work towards letting the things that you buried stay buried. Be blessed…